Top Ten Tuesday is a meme hosted by The Broke and the Bookish, where we all get to exercise our OCD tendencies and come up with bookish lists. If you’d like to play along, check out this post.
Sometimes books don’t work for you as a reader. Other people love them – I mean, genuinely fall in love with them – but you find yourself either going ‘Ehhhh…’ or wanting to throw the offending volume across the room. I bet you can think of a couple of things that make you feel that way. I thought I’d have a tough time coming up with ten absolute no-go words or topics that keep me from reading a book, but it was actually very, very easy. Almost too easy. I am a little worried that I am a hater. But not enough to stop me from sharing my list!
Top Ten Things That Will Keep Me From Picking Up a Book
1. Popularity contests – This is a real thing in young adult books. It’s also a thing in real life (which is why they put it in YA books. because, duh.). I find it boring. *le sigh*
2. Vampires – Vampire books feel trite and overdone at this point. A few are really terrible, but most are victims of the surge in paranormal popularity. I may eventually come to appreciate vampires, but it’ll probably be in another 20 years when the trend comes back around.
3. Love triangles – Oh. Dear. Goodness. If we’re going to talk about a YA tropes, THIS is the one that will actually make me spit fire and/or rage. I’m just done with them.
4. ‘Losing it’ plots – Hey, I get that sex is a big deal, especially that first time. I just want to read a little more character development or see a really cool fantasy world in addition to this plot device. All of the focus and emotion centered on that one act is making me feel like an old. One who is over the angst. Sorry/not sorry.
5. Cheating/disloyalty – Confession time: I am a Hufflepuff. Officially Pottermore-sorted and everything. Characters’ disloyalty or cheating on someone make me uncomfortable, even in fictional universes. Like, cannot-continue-reading uncomfortable. I get that it happens in real life, I just hate it. So I don’t read it. Because hate reading is not one of my things, either. Remember, Hufflepuff.
6. Mermaids – When I was writing up this list, I put down mermaids, and then I thought to myself, ‘What?! Who even hates mermaids? You are crazy, self.’ But it stayed on the list, so I think it’s real. The only mermaid-ish book I can remember enjoying even a little was Sirena by Donna Jo Napoli. All that said, I’m totally fine with selkies.
7. First-person point of view – Now, this isn’t proven in all cases, and I’m sure I’ve liked a book with a first person POV. Just can’t recall one at the moment. I know that sometimes it’s a major pet peeve. Okay, make that a lot of times.
8. Drama class/theater setting – This is where (if you didn’t see it coming) I admit that I am a person without the requisite amount of art in her soul. I didn’t enjoy drama class in high school, and reading about it = the wrong side of dull. So I don’t.
9. Bad boys – Oh, I get it. He’s tortured, he needs help, he’s a misunderstood a$$hole who will break your heart into little pieces. I just don’t want to read about him, because he sounds selfish and probably disloyal (see above).
10. Exclusive boarding schools – My mother has real-life stories from boarding school, and they’re mostly tame and boy-free. Also, she received a quarterly alumni newsletter, and I skimmed it for years. Not a single secret society or real scandal to be found. The glamour ran out before it ever put a shine on this idea (for me at least).
Are any of these your kryptonite, too? Please do tell what turns you off books (I am honestly curious)!